


Firefly

by robertstanion



Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [25]
Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, Pet Names, and a connection to the black and white, non sexual bathing, powers, xander still has powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: Xander gets a little overwhelmed, and ends up needing lots of love and care
Relationships: John McNamara/Xander Lee
Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764349
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	Firefly

There was a lot of panic stemming from the lab down by the east corridor, which just so happened to be Xander’s lab, and if it were any other case, John would drop everything and follow the crowd, but this was some important government files he had to attend to, and it wasn’t like he could stop midway through now that he’d started.

Eventually, he was forced to stop when an agent opened his door a little _too_ forcefully. “General McNamara?” They asked, stepping in the room, fiddling with their thumbs. “Uh…Lieutenant Lee had a kind of… _accident.”_

That caught John’s attention. He wasn’t dumb, he knew what an “accident” meant. He was hurt. John set his pen down, rising from his chair. “One, how severe. Two, is he hurt?”

“We’re not sure because he won’t let anyone touch him, and he keeps flashing blue…” The agent explained, and John furrowed his eyebrows.

“Glowing blue?” He knew exactly what was going on, and nobody else was supposed to find out.

“It’s just…easier if you see for yourself,” they said, leading John to the medical ward where Xander was stationed. It was true, what the agent was saying. He was scaring any doctor or nurse that went near him with another burst of bright blue light. He was curled up on the bed, and it was clear he was in pain. John dismissed the agent and stepped in, giving the chief doctor a look that told the other medical staff, as well as himself, to leave the room, giving the two men their time.

John shut the door and closed the blinds to the room, flipping the lock up on the door before he walked over, taking his place beside Xander on the bed. “Hey, Firefly.” John said softly, going to cup Xander’s cheek, but he pulled back, a soft sob leaving his throat.

“No, John, don’t-don’t touch me! I-I’m only gonna hurt you!”

“You wish you could hurt me, sweetheart,” John said softly, placing his hand in his lap. “What’s going on? Talk to me. You’re usually good at hiding this from the others.”

“It just _hurts.”_ Xander explained, another tear falling down his face as John resisted the urge to wipe it away. “It’s been hurting for so long, and I’ve had so much to do, and I was working and one of the agents came in while I was mid- essentially relieving myself of pain, letting go of pressure, and they got _scared_ and they called for security, and then I got scared and then I was being chased and-“

“Breathe.” John reminded, not taking his eyes off of his husband. “You were getting chased?”

“I don’t feel safe. They didn’t see me as Xander, they saw me as a possible weapon, which is what I was made to be, right? I-I’m not Xander! I’m a product of The Black and White-“

“Hey.” John said firmly, looking directly at Xander. “Your origin does _not_ define you. You are still my wonderful husband, how do you expect me to see you any differently when I have the same power as you?”

“You know that’s a lie, John. You don’t glow blue on a monthly basis like a cycle. You can’t just tell me that you know what I’m going through.”

“But I’m trying to understand, alright?” He said, keeping calm. He knew the worst thing right now would to start combatting Xander’s points. That would scale an argument upwards, and things would only get worse, not just for John, but also for Xander. When Xander needed someone, it would always be John, and at the peak of his vulnerability, such as now, he needed John more than ever. “I have a connection to The Black and White. I don’t necessarily have the power you do, but I understand the effect it can have on someone and how much pain they can go through. Now tell me, is there anything I can do to help you right now? Is there anything at all?”

“I just wanna go home,” Xander admitted, his face crumpling up into a sob. “Please take me home, please, please, can’t stay here-“

“You know I’d take you home if I could, but I don’t think you can walk right now,” he explained.

“I can walk! I just-I’ll just need your assistance.”

“Are you sure?” John asked, clearly worried for Xander’s sake, but Xander nodded, pushing himself to sit up before, swinging his legs off the bed, and standing up with John’s assistance. Immediately, he took to leaning against John, and John wrapped his arms around Xander’s shoulders to ensure he remained upright and didn’t fall over. “Let’s go home, okay?”

“Please.”

* * *

As soon as they were home, Xander was too weak to stand, so John had to carry him to bed. He knew Xander would be uncomfortable if he stayed in the state he was in, so John left his side for a moment to go and run him a bath. While everything was heating up, he went back and sat beside Xander’s side on the bed. “You’re shaking. Xander, are you warm enough?”

“Cold. Black and White, cold.” He explained, and it was clear that his speech was forced, almost like something was keeping him for talking to John.

John nodded, moving the duvet covers over him to keep him warm temporarily until he could get him to the bathroom. He stayed, gently stroking Xander’s slightly overgrown hair, but he really hadn’t been doing too well lately, and had let himself succumb to his powers he’d been struggling to control. John wasn’t blaming him for doing it. He knew how hard it was to continue to be so strong against The Black and White, and he wasn’t leaving Xander’s side.

When the bath was done, John lifted him up, and Xander pretty much clung to him. John smiled gently, walking in to the bathroom, helping him to change out of his uniform before carefully lowering him in to the bath, where he instantly relaxed. John knelt beside the bathtub, placing a kiss on Xander’s forehead. “Are you warm enough, Firefly.”

“You’re a fucking life saver,” Xander said, keeping his eyes closed, draping his hand on the side of the bathtub. John smiled gently, continuing to stroke Xander’s hair with one hand, looking to Xander’s other hand. “May I hold your hand?”

“I’d like that,” Xander said, opening his eyes, which were his regular deep brown. It was clear that he was tired, yet relaxed, and John wasn’t complaining. He knew Xander would be, so he was staying very still, and remaining gentle.

He intertwined his fingers with Xander’s, and watched a thin smile form on Xander’s face. “I love you, Honeybee.”

“Honeybee?” John questioned, and Xander nodded.

“I’m Firefly, you’re Honeybee.”

“Where did Honeybee come from?”

“Because, dear, your hair is fuzzy like a bee, and you’ve got the sting of a bee, and you’re also a very sweet person.”

“Does The Black and White also turn you into William Shakespeare, or is this just Xander getting sappy?” John teased, and Xander chuckled.

“I love you, John.”

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Them: "Firefly" "Honeybee"  
> Me: AND THEY WERE FIREFLY AND HONEYBEE
> 
> anyways xanders powers are going to be explained more i promise. just not now
> 
> and it's my 15th birthday tomorrow and time sucks ass sorry john mcnamara but no <3 
> 
> kind comments and kudos appreciated!!


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